The Last Airbender, part two. (FINALLY.)

Wow. So it took me over three months, but I finally finished The Last Airbender. Last night I decided to just grit my teeth and do it, so I found a version, let it buffer, and watched..

So here we go.

This movie pains me to no end. Even putting aside the television series, as a stand-alone movie it's just not very good. The acting is so stale, and even when the actors could have been good, the script fails them. You can tell that M Night was trying to make every line meaningful and dramatic and provocative, and each one falls short. And then when they try to insert some lightheartedness, it just feels out of place. (Good thing they only do this maybe twice in the whole film.)

There is barely any emotional range in this movie. Not only did they take out every character's sense of humor, but they also seemed to drain the story of any happiness whatsoever. Sokka, formerly comic relief, is dark and serious and smiles maybe once in the entire film. Iroh, fat and happy, has been perverted in appearance so that he looks more like a nightmare villain - at least to the Western world (see Jafar) - and doesn't laugh once. Shyamalan claims that this was to ground the movie, to set a more serious tone: "I took away a little bit of the slapsticky stuff that was there for the little little kids, the fart jokes and things like that. We weeded that stuff away and the other stuff came out. ...That really did wonderful things for the whole theme of the movie." (*) I submit that it takes away any semblance of personality the film could have had; a story about the possibilities of life ought to have some life in it. Even movies with serious tones can have happy characters. It makes the harsh bits more clear.

Here are my thoughts on the 'racebending' controversy. Yes, it did look very awkward when Sokka, Katara, and their Gran-gran were the only white people in the Southern water tribe. Yes, it was very strange to see no East Asian main characters in a world predominantly based around East Asian culture. (But Olivia, you say, you like Firefly, and there are no Chinese main characters in that, even though the world is partially derived from Chinese culture! to which I reply How did you know I like Firefly? Anyways, cultures are always being influenced by one another without necessarily having to mix people into equal parts. Look at weeaboos (sorry, that was unnecessary). But more importantly, those responsible for Firefly openly acknowledge that there are no Chinese characters included in the show, whereas M Night gets indignant at the very suggestion that his film could possibly be racist! After all, there are black people in it! How could they be upset? And yes, he actually said that.) I think that if Shyamalan had actually cast like he said he would (by talent rather than by race), it wouldn't matter to me so much. Maybe the performances ought to be at least partially blamed on the writing, but frankly, they probably still could have worked with it. He said he "did not want to make The Last Airbender without Nicola Peltz" (*), but in my opinion, he should have; she seemed like she was reciting rather than acting. And Jackson Rathbone? Whoever thought he would be a good idea? Shaun Toub and maybe Dev Patel, as Iroh and Zuko respectively, could have been good. I may not be pleased with the way their characters were written, especially Iroh's, but at least they did what they could with what they were given.

The effects? They were okay, I suppose. Bending looked good. (Although the movements associated with bending, not so much. If it required that much flailing, wars would be more effective without it.) Momo and Appa looked ridiculous. Like big puppets. I was a little pissed off that the big DEFEAT THE FIRE NATION TROOPS at the end was..Aang raising a big wall of water. I'm sorry, but the big blue ocean-monster from the show was so much cooler. And it made more sense. In the show, he lost control of his emotions when Admiral Zhao killed the moon spirit, and went into the Avatar state, forming around him a giant glowing body of water that ripped its way through the Fire Nation's forces and ships. It allowed for better character development as well: Zhao was grabbed by the water monster; Zuko tried to save him, but Zhao, with his pride, decided to drown rather than be rescued by the boy he tried to destroy. Isn't that a lot better than Zuko running away from Zhao and then Zhao being killed by four random waterbenders? (Answer: Yes.) I wish they had worked that in. What, were they too lazy to give the characters more depth? Maybe they were just too lazy to make the water monster.

Basically, my opinion on this movie:



Final assessment: Dear god just don't watch it if you have the option not to. It literally gave me headaches. (Well, I have a cold right now, so that probably contributed, but seriously I definitely considered just stopping more than once.) It will offend your sensibilities.

Next I think I'll do some movies I enjoyed for a change.

Olivia

PS. One beautiful gem I have decided to share with you. At one early point in the movie, Katara and Sokka find Appa, the sky bison, in the air. Katara's insight: "He's floating!" Floating..just..no. Balloons float in the air. Animals? They fly.

The Last Airbender, part one. (More general irritation than indignant how-dare-they-change-anything fan.)

Ugh. The only version of The Last Airbender I could find online was shot on a camcorder in a theater. There are some others, but I refuse to download. If it's not embedded on a page, I have a problem with it; I don't want shit clogging my computer. Oh well.

I am going to make a list of things that I like / dislike, and elaborate after I'm done watching. Commentaries like those written for Twilight, the line-by-line scorn, are reserved for extremely special movies. Mostly just Twilight.

So here we go.

...

- Pronunciation changes.
- Casting choices.
- Changes to characters.
- Changes to small but obvious details.
- Effects.

You know what..

Never mind..

...

Okay I worked on the list, and then after ten minutes I gave in and decided to go play-by-play. There is just too much I have to comment on. Some of these are here because I liked the show and am disappointed in the interpretation, and some are here because they just suck. So here we go.

...


While narrating, Katara sounds like she's reading off a script. Which, I mean, is what she was doing. But it's not supposed to sound like she is.

Jasper Jackson Rathbone. Just..no.

Sokka is supposed to be silly. He's supposed to be lighthearted comic relief with serious moments. This Sokka is brooding and emo. Katara accidentally dumped water on Sokka's head and I was totally expecting his shrill angry goofy voice from the show but he kind of just grunted.

I understand if you cannot find people who look exactly like the characters in the show. But they didn't exactly try, did they? I'll get into my cast rant later.

Why. Why does Aang have a cross tattooed on his back. Just..why.



You can barely see Zuko's scar. Also, Zuko is Indian. But in the show he's basically the palest motherfucker in the world.

What the fuck Iroh. Iroh looks terrifying. Iroh looks like some sort of Disney animated movie villain. Like a live-action Jafar or something. Iroh should be fat and happy. Iroh is one of my favorites.



Sokka and Katara's grandmother has a really annoying voice. I think it's supposed to be kind of mystical - she's explaining the Spirit World to them - but it's..just annoying.

Zuko and Iroh give Aang this test - setting the other three elements in front of him - to determine whether or not he is the avatar. (I'm sorry, I mean ahvahtar.) Um..wouldn't this mean that water would be pooling and rocks would be wobbling around him all the time?

Appa: -looks kind of cool-
Momo: -looks kind of stupid-
Momo: -looks like Zoboomafoo-



Monk Gyatso..was black?

Alright, twenty minutes in and I don't think this movie had a very good exposition. And there seems to be no bond between Aang and SokkaandKatara other than Katara's line about 'we're responsible for him, we have to help him' and Gran-gran's weird quavery high-pitched explanation of the Spirit World and the ahvahtar. It's just like:

Aang: -escapes from Zuko way too easily seriously he basically just ran away, no cool bending shit at all-
Sokka and Katara: -brought Appa-
Aang: Thanks for bringing Appa.
Sokka and Katara: Okay now we're going to help you.
Aang: I can just take you home -
Sokka and Katara: NO. -serious faces-
Aang: Okay then.
Sokka and Katara: -still don't know his name-
Sokka and Katara: -are basically treating him with near-reverence; Katara just asked if she could have the honor of knowing his name or something like that-
Aang: -blissful obliviousness to the fate of his people-
Sokka and Katara: -still haven't told him about the war-
Katara: -tells him about the war-
Aang: -doesn't believe her-
Aang: -finds a field full of skeletons-
Aang: -finds Monk Gyatso's skeleton-
Aang: NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Aang: -avatar state-
Olivia: -pauses movie to go write about bad exposition-

Aang: -is in the Spirit World already?-
Scary-looking random spirit: -is a bit pissed because the avatar has been gone so long-

Man, is it bad that whenever I see Katara I think 'I can't believe how white she is'?

Random Indian guy with an accent: -..is Commander Zhao?-

DUDE. There's another thing. MNight, look for a minute. Look at his name. Zhao. That is one of the most Asian-y names ever. And by Asian-y I mean like Chinese, not 'well India is a part of Asia so surely nobody will get mad about the casting'. Why are the firebenders all Indian. I am not trying to be racist, but let's compare for a moment.



Honestly, right now I would even prefer the original choice of Jesse McCartney. I mean, at least he's pale like Zuko. Zuko is pale like a gamer's ass. (I don't know where I got that one..)

Yes, I'm nitpicking. But that one is just plain irritating. Commander Zhao:



"Hm. The banished prince. Let's offer him lunch." Man everyone's being hospitable towards their enemies. The Cullens are inviting Rival Vampire Squad to play baseball with them, Zhao is feeding Zuko.

Zhao: -is being a douche-
The douchiness: -is the most accurate part of the movie so far-

Zuko: -storms out-
Iroh: -does not even say something endearing and amusing before leaving after him-
Olivia: Aw maaaaan.

Whoa. Zuko's carrying a tiny weird cartoony painting of his family. It's supposed to replicate the portrait seen often in the series, I suppose. It's composed the same way. But it is brightly colored and definitely was not done with the same skill. I wondering how much they paid the prop artist? Touching, Zuzu. I too bring a bad caricature of my loved ones wherever I go.

People had told me beforehand about the fact that firebenders cannot generate their own fire in the movie. Let's think about this. Airbenders always have stuff to work with, obviously. Innovative waterbenders, as Katara demonstrates in the show, can take liquid from sweat and plants and such. Earthbenders don't have it so easy, though considering how dirty some of them get, I'm surprised nobody's tried to bend their own grime yet. So, MNight, I suppose you did this fire thing in the name of 'authenticity'? But tell me, cannot energy be converted? Isn't that kind of the point of bending? If we try to dip into physics a little bit - I haven't taken a physics class in several years, so I'm going extremely basic here - cannot a firebender take some of the energy in the air, or in himself, and transform it into fire? I direct you towards the notion of pyrokinesis (yes I am probably going to far into this, but MNight basically made firebending half as powerful as it should be, so I feel justified). "Several works of fiction explain pyrokinetic powers as being the ability to excite or speed up an object's atoms, increasing their thermal energy until they ignite...air particles." I mean, considering we are in a world in which people can manipulate air and water and earth, I don't see this as such an obscure theory.

All the scenery looks greenscreened. I dunno what it is. Maybe because there's lots of stuff in the foreground and then basically nothing in the background..

"So..are you the ahvahtar, Ahng?" Man, so many problems with this line, Jasper Sokka. For one thing, they sound extremely awkward whenever they pronounce things weirdly. This is either because I am too used to the original pronunciation - which is quite possibly the case - or because in their neutral American accents, saying things like this is kind of uncommon. Most Americans pronounce Iraq as 'eye-Rack' instead of 'ee-Rock'. 'Aang', in Americanese, probably ought to have stayed as it was. (Also, Jackson Rathbone is pretty bad at line delivery. Pretty bad at acting in general. Also, Sokka's supposed to be funny. Also, I haven't even gotten over him looking stupid as a vampire yet; now he is also a poor excuse for a beloved character.)

Oh look the first Asian so far. It's a little earthbender who randomly runs into the field and hides behind Sokka. This scene is also what seems to be the movie's first attempt at humor. First the Fire Nation soldier with the weird voice says that the the kid was bending pebbles at them and it hurt just has a really weird voice; then Katara tries to waterbend at them and ends up freezing Sokka. Unfortunately, the tone of the movie has not been set in a way that allows for this kind of humor to come easily, and the actors are stiff and don't really help at all. (I have not seen Sokka smile once during this whole thing. In fact I've probably seen three smiles in the first half-hour of the movie, and most of them were Zhao's douchey smirks.)

Wow, this village looks..really depressing. Like what most Americans used to think China looks like. Complete with a full cast of Asian background characters.

Even the background characters are bad actors. Also, it does not make sense to imprison earthbenders in a place that's basically just a section of the village with an iron gate separating it from the rest. They still have dirt on the ground. The houses look like they're made of stone. There is a cliff right next to them - literally right next to them, there are some tents leaning against it. COME ON GUYS, YOU ARE SURROUNDED WITH ROCKS. CRUSH THEM. JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE METAL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T CRUSH THEM.

Aang: "You don't need to live this way! There's earth, right beneath your feet!"
Olivia: THANK YOU.

Aang: "It's time for you to stop doing this!"
That was a really dumb line.
This is just a really dumb scene.

Katara: -shoves a Fire Nation soldier who is making fun of Aang-
Soldier: RAAAAAAGE.
Soldier: -charges headfirst-
Soldier: -is clearly not afraid to attack little girls-

Okay now they are trying to make Sokka funny. He's just kind of turning out awkward. "Okay..everybody can help us now!" -afraid-

Oh..my god. The soldier just firebended..and it was the stupidest thing I have seen in this movie so far. He did this weird frustrated series of motions and kind of..twanged his arms out into an attack stance, and it was just..really..stupid.

Katara: "A waterbending scroll." -awed reverence- "This is ~*rare*~!"
Olivia: Uh..

Oh wait, this is the introduction of Kyoshi? So they combined Haru's village and Kyoshi Island and took out Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi warriors and got rid of the pirates (well, I understand that; that would have taken up too much time) and..that's this place.

The Gaang: -random frantic planning session in which Aang rather dramatically tells Sokka and Katara that he doesn't know how to bend the other three elements and they decide to go to the Southern water tribe to find him a teacher-
The planning session: -felt like it was added in last-minute-
Extras: -cheer and throw makeshift confetti at Aang-

Fire Nation soldiers: -look completely ridiculous in a montage in which Aang totally owns them and makes them seem like incompetent fools-

Oh..look..a random village full of black people in red-and-yellow clothes..I'm not exactly sure who these are.. I mean, generally the people dress in their nations' colors, yes? I always found this notion a bit silly, but it made it easy to determine who was whom. But uh..I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be visiting a village of Fire Nation folk..especially without some sort of explanation..
Olivia: -is a bit confused by this-

Whoa, Zuko-and-co, way to look totally inconspicuous by throwing up your hoods and walking around in big sketchy cloaks.

So, I feel like people's bending poses don't really make much sense. In the show they are based on different kinds of martial arts, and they have a whole logic behind them. The ones in the movie are just kind of a lot of waving around. Katara was just practicing something but she looked like she was trying to dance and failing.

Katara: "Sohka became concerned that we were being followed."
Olivia: WELL SOHKA IS JUST CONCERNED ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THIS FILM, ISN'T HE. HE'S JUST A BIG PILE OF CONCERN.

Um..is that..Fire Lord Ozai?



..Um.

Ozai: -kind of sounds like he cares about Zuko-
Zhao: "Well..I suppose it's a race, then."
Okay. A lot of the dialogue in this movie has been written to make it sound dramatic. But..I don't know, it's something about the environments or the line deliveries or something that just make it sound..dumb.

...

Oh look it's five in the morning and I've been working on this for eight hours and I'm not even halfway through yet, and now it looks like the sun is coming up. Sure I've been doing other stuff too, and I did go off for three hours after watching fifteen minutes to hang with my brother and watch Food Network instead, but still. That was pretty pathetic of me. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day.

Olivia